the fault in our stars

shutterstock_132290387Call it what you will … holiday food fatigue, that one glass of wine (really, I only had one glass!), too long of a stroll down memory lane…. Whatever the source, I feel slow today. I was unable to get to sleep until 2am, and then, was poked and prodded by our beloved hound, Nash, until I got out of bed at 6:30am. He was full of energy after two days indoors due to snow and ice — ready not only to eat, but to be chased around the dining room table as we do during inclement weather in lieu of a romp in the yard. I’m slow to start the writing and it’s already after noon.

And, I have a 4pm appointment that I must keep. This is like my doctor’s appointment this past Wednesday morning. I had to book it five months in advance; I wouldn’t miss it in spite of the icy weather conditions. Nothing will keep from today’s appointment, either.

Today I am working with an astrologer whom I’ve known for three years. For me, this is as important as my annual physical. You see, next Thursday is my birthday, and Lavandar is going to review my charts for next year, as well as give me the time of my solar return. (I know, ‘nothing has meaning but the meaning we give it’. For me, this holds a lot of weight.)

As Lavandar explains, a solar return is ‘the ten hours of power’ within a certain time window of your birthday. It differs every year depending on the alignment of the planets. During this time, you focus on what you intend to manifest in the coming year, with as much detail as you are able. For example, spend time with someone you wish to spend lots of time with during the year. Dance if you enjoy dancing, or go out with friends to celebrate, if that is what you would like to experience in abundance during the coming year. The energies are 1,000 more powerful during this time period to support what you want to create for yourself.

yay-6404352When I was growing up, my mom used to say that what we did on our birthday was what we would do all year long, so I’ve always done at least one thing for myself on my birthday. (It was my mom who introduced me to astrology, the work of Edgar Cayce, shamanic and holistic modalities, and other alternative modes of metaphysical study.) A life-long lover of books, many birthdays were spent in a Barnes & Noble, plopped on the floor surrounded by books, giving myself permission to purchase three books. Needless to day, I spent those years soaking up as much of the world as I could in my reading. When the kids were older, I traveled to seminars, where I either studied or staffed alternative therapies, and spent the rest of the year doing exactly that. That went on for five years.

In 2011, I discovered Lavandar via Dr. Meg Losey’s (The Children of Now) BlogTalk Radio show, no longer available due to her extensive workload. I went on to listen to Lavandar’s own BlogTalk Radio program and archives for six months, and then scheduled an appointment. Since working with Lavandar, I’ve spent my birthday engaged in quiet, reflective activities to shift my life’s focus, and consequently, spent more time home, in my office, writing and working on projects that had more long-term goals. I’m now ready to change this up and that is what I will be working with Lavandar on this afternoon, in preparation for next week and the upcoming year. (To learn more about Lavandar, see links provided below.)

So, I am somewhat distracted and simply not focused on writing for this blog’s theme today …  not in the way that it has been these past four weeks. Now that I am coming to the close of the month and this project, sharing more about myself seems like a good segue to where this blog, and my work, is heading. While I am still not completely sure of the destination, there’s more direction based on where I’ve been and what I’ve learned.

shutterstock_55361677Just the fact that I am willing to show up, and that I am talking about this so publicly, is a bigger deal than anyone can imagine. I was taught to ‘keep private things private’ even before my experiences with my brother. Given mom’s bouts with manic depression and alcoholism, our family self- isolated, never speaking about what went on behind closed doors. None of us talked about what was going on in our heads or hearts, not even to each other. So you can understand why, as I noted in an earlier post, I didn’t go around telling people that I hear a voice in my head when my mom was in and out of mental hospitals.

Karma says we chose our parents and have soul contracts with each and every person who crosses our path. No one comes into our lives without having agreed to support our experience on a soul level. (I don’t know if this is true or not. But Karma is a powerful belief system on this planet and so has a lot of power behind it.)

When I first learned of this, I was wondering what the heck was I thinking? Why would I want to have the experiences that I did?  And, given all that we see going on on the planet, why would anyone create what we see currently going on, on the planet?

These questions are for an entirely different discussion, and are meant to be food for thought. Speaking to my own experience, the lessons of my childhood were valuable training for what I do now; catalysts for healing on levels I am only beginning to understand.

Having been exposed to all that I was as a child brought a line of questioning at a young age which lead me to this very moment, fingers poised over the keyboard, ready to share some very out-there experiences the stuff of which science fiction is made of.

But that is a story for another day.

Copyright 2014 by Donna Cerame. All rights reserved.

Lavandar’s information:


BlogTalk Radio Program:

Astrological news analysis:

Eric Francis’ PlanetWaves Radio Program:

PlanetWaves FaceBook Page:

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